My Life Would Suck WITH You

Posted on December 14, 2010


It’s the end of the year, and it’s time to reflect on what’s happened in 2010.

And while there are many lessons I have learned from the mistakes I have made, there is one that sticks out brighter than the rest: life is a cleansing process.

We have to clean out our lives from time to time, just like we clean our offices, our lockers, and our homes. Because when we don’t take time to clean our lives, it’s easy to get entangled in relationships that pull us down rather than help us stand higher, to stand more confidently.

Most people (and when I say “most people,” I really think and believe it to be that “most people”) like to have multiple and various relationships: friendships, spouses (no, I don’t mean polygamy!), relatives. Maybe it’s just a best friend that some people need. Or a circle of friends who share similar interests.

All I know is that most people enjoy being around other people – it makes them happy. Happy to share life’s brightest moments, comforting to have others along for the bumpier times, and grateful for all the good and bad times in-between.

But now that THAT is out of my system, it’s time to hamper down and speak on the issue at hand: the people who drag us down. Maybe this is a friend or that frustrating in-law. It doesn’t matter the relationship, because everyone has at least one frustrating person like this in their lives. And in many cases, we can’t just “cut” that person out of our lives and be done. We have to live with them, or with their phone calls, emails, and Facebook responses.

I did a little self-reflecting. I finally got rid of some of the baggage that was holding me down in my life. I finally removed that person from Facebook–that person that had made life more and more difficult in the past 5 years than anyone I’ve ever known. I finally broke the friendship that was discouraging me and taking more from me than giving. I started saying no to people. I stopped responding immediately to people’s texts to hang out.

I realized that I couldn’t move forward in my life when others were making me miserable, hurting me, and not supporting me. I didn’t give up on people, and I never stopped trusting. But I learned that some relationships have expiration dates–and ending them was better than letting them slowly rot away.

It’s not that apathy has taken over; it’s quite the opposite. I care enough about my life and those relationships, that ending them is better than letting them continue–continue to hurt me, continue to hurt the other person, continue to hold us back from living.

I learned that there’s nothing worse then letting somebody come between you and moving forward in your life.