Strangely enough, I’ve had this urge to blog but haven’t had anything fascinating to blog about! And unfortunately, WordPress hasn’t allowed me to upload some awesome videos, such as Will Forte’s herstory song on SNL a little over a week ago, because they aren’t from YouTube. So . . . guess I’ll deal with my limits.
On a more interesting note, I’ve been thinking a lot lately. I don’t know if that means that I don’t usually think much. Haha. OK, putting my long-windedness aside, here’s the deal:
Since I’ve finished at Maranatha, I’ve learned a great deal. Nothing has been how I imagined it would. You would think I’d be able to get a handle on some of my major life issues now that school is not in the way, but it has actually been the opposite for me.
For the past 3 1/2 years, I’ve been convinced that schoolwork and living on campus (with everything that comes along with that), have held me back from really accomplishing some things. Being out of school now, reality has caught up with me, and I’m staring at my unattractive lack of self-motivation in the mirror.
For years, my room has been the junk room. Things from all different parts of the house have been stored and tossed in there, later to be sorted out, organized, or just thrown in the trash. Trying to get a simple task like cleaning out my room has become a mountain to climb. Working out was another thing I was really looking forward to . . . and that has also been put on hold as other bigger things have pushed themselves to the front of my must-do list. I’m also STILL in school, trying desperately to complete my final class. Another long and terrible story that doesn’t need another telling.
Coming into the new year of 2010, I had this starry-eyed view that life was going to get better all by itself. Time would simply lend its giving hand and allow me to complete everything I need to easily. I’m now learning that all of those deadlines at school really pushed me to get things done in a good way. I really appreciate that about college.
Work is definitely not how I imagined it would be. There are those great days, and just like college, there are those days I wish it were over immediately. Sitting behind a desk for 8 hours is not as gloriously professional as I imagined. But all complaining and nitpicking aside, it has been a huge blessing in my life. To have the security of going to a full-time job 5 days a week is a gift I will not take for granted. I really hope this is only the beginning of a professional career for me.
Lately, I’ve spotted a lot of “I’m just in the daily grind” kind of comments on Facebook and various blogs. Seems like I’m joining the club. But I am making changes, and I am moving forward. I’m desperately pounding one truth into my thick head over and over again: Enjoy the journey!
I’ve always been a dreamer, as much as the realist in me wants to deny this. Big plans, big dreams sit at the forefront of my mind, and curiosity for the future tends to get the best of me often. I’m always thinking about the future and how much BETTER it’s going to be than right now. But knowing that bothers me. I want to be happy and excited for the NOW of life, because I am living it right now. While the future is important to plan for, the NOW is what I get.
Well, it looks like that’s all that’s going to come out right now. I’m going to add a new category for posts like these. Random.
((backstage_spotlight)) 
Posted on March 15, 2010
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